Cyber-Relationships: Changing Moral Positions

With the advent of virtual worlds and cyber communities for individuals to have a meeting of the minds, it is no wonder our relationships today are becoming so much more complicated. As if working out the intricacies of relationships (platonic and romantic) wasn't challenging enough, the internet has added a whole new dimension to cultivate. This is particular harrowing for romantic relationships. In class we had the example of a woman divorcing her husband because he was married to another woman in Second Life, while The Sunday Times columnist commented that she’d just lure her husband off the computer and back into reality. These two views show the schism developing in the new relationship “rules” of a digital age.

There’s always a lot of debate surrounding big topics in new media, like privacy, ethics and dependency, since these have potential policy connections. There is minor coverage of shifting relationship norms, but these are often handled with humor and disbelief. Just like people resisting the new technology at first, people are resisting the need to assess their stance on relationship boundaries within their technologically saturated lives.

To continue with the example above, what exactly constitutes cheating in a relationship now? The idea of the “emotional affair” is not new, but it used to be manifested in a seemingly harmless friendship, which then began to damage the emotional connection to their respective partners. With the internet now, and the constant connectivity, it is much easier to develop these affairs, especially in forums like Second Life. After our talk about cyborgs it would stand to reason that since technology is becoming a part of our identities, that affairs online are a form of cheating. There is a real person on the other side who is communicating and investing time in a “relationship.” It’s easy to discredit these relationships because of their video game like qualities, however they should be held to higher standards. It is yet another part of society in transition due to the integration of new media into our lives. It will be interesting to see how the morals sort themselves out over time.

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Being part of the young generation that has more or less grown up with the Internet curiously doesn’t mean one can’t feel hopelessly old-fashioned and lost when confronted with some of the oddities of the virtual world. A bit like parents at the start of the current century witnessing their offspring only functioning socially with a mobile phone attached to their ear. But I’m losing track here. What I’m talking about is the virtual world of coupling. Which makes me feel like an old fashioned lady reminiscing the good old days when kids still believed masturbation causes blindness, because despite seeing the positive aspects and having spoken to couples who have found their fairytale ending with their match made in cyberspace I can’t help but feel slightly unsettled at the thought of some computer technology finding compatible partners. And I’ve just lost track again. I blame this on having lost track in general after having come across some online phenomena, which has left me slightly confused. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry, pity or judge, try to make sense or just forget.

At this point I’m so off track that I need someone to tell me how to process the following: In Second Life it is apparently possible to have ones avatar engage in all sorts of fantastic sex practices, one of which is this: You avatar can masturbate. It can do that while looking at online-porn! So there is someone sitting in front of a laptop, looking at his or her virtual self masturbating in front of a virtual laptop. That’s it. I have no more words. I’ll just let this stand for itself and tell you this fun fact can be found in the following research paper: 'Now The Orgy is Over' by Dennis D. Waskul and  Justin A. Martin.

The Good of Second Life

Since we so often focus on the sleazy side of technology and the harm it can do, I'd like to dedicate a post to some advantages of virtual worlds, specifically Second Life. I am by no means a proponent of Second Life. In fact, I dislike it as a social network for many reasons, but there are definite educational and work advantages to it.

In a previous course at my home university I had a term project that required me to create a Second Life account and participate in the world. The goal was to become an expert on all things Second Life and report back to the class on my experience. Naturally I came across the dodgier side of the world, often being engaged by less than savory characters. However I learned a lot about the innovative uses of virtual space for educational and business purposes. Many institutions have created “islands” for their students and employees to meet in. Both universities and businesses can hold in world conferences and classes for people who normally would not be able to attend such functions. For classes specifically, Second Life offers individuals opportunities to not just learn about their subject, but to experience it. Of course the experience is still dampened by the fact it is not actually hands on but it definitely is a step in the right direction.

A really good example of the use of creative space in Second Life came from the University of Sydney. The island incorporated areas where Greek mythology students had recreated scenes from different myths. Near each scene was a brief write-up about the myth. On the other side of the island was a hospital. This was particularly interesting, because it integrated action functions where avatars could take on the role of patient, nurse or doctor. It allows med students to apply their knowledge in virtual role-playing created and moderated by educators (Sanchez, 2009).

So there you have it! A lesser discussed topic of virtual worlds, but it is important to remember that legitimate steps forward in the use of virtual technology are happening alongside the sketchier bits.

Sanchez, J. (2009). Pedagogical Applications of Second Life. Library Technology Reports, 45(2), 21-28. Retrieved from Academic Search Premier database.